Joe’s Cellar

Joe’s Cellar, located at 1332 NW 21st Ave in Portland, is one of those places off the beaten path.  A dive in the truest sense, we decided to hit this local spot that we’d driven by so many times on our way to other fine establishments in the NW area.

Joe’s Cellar Restaurant
1332 NW 21st Ave
Portland, OR  97209
(map)
(503) 223-2851

The Reviews:

I was pretty excited to go on a food review with the guys here at DudeSweet.com.  I’d never been to Joe’s Cellar. The place was definitely a dive but I know that dive’s often have the best food.  Don’t judge a book by it’s cover right?  Well, after waiting what seemed like forever we ordered our food and waited some more.

The burger looked pretty good upon arrival.  Nice looking veggies and the typical burger bun you’d expect at a home barbecue.  I would think that something that took so long to cook would be very good.  I was wrong.  Not that it tasted terrible but the burger was dry, and over cooked.  I wouldn’t give the burger any higher than a 2.5 out of 5.  I’m hoping next time I get to sit in on a review we hit the jackpot instead of busting.

On the positive side it was great to hang out with Jeremy and Jason and talk about Lacrosse, Hockey, and Food.  (Check out more info about Dallas Eliuk, the greatest professional Lacrosse goalie of all time, and watch an awesome video here:  http://www.dudesweet.com/special-guest-reviewers.)
2.5 out of 5 So  I ordered the Jumbo Burger, cuz I’ve always heard “go jumbo or go home”, or something like that.  I’d have to say that this time wasn’t the time to do that.  It was a half pound hockey puck that I should have shoved in my pocket and taken home to the kids to play with.

I had pretty high hopes in finding a gem in this dive but it didn’t happen.  My drink was good though, thanks Coke or Pepsi (can’t remember), although it wasn’t refilled but maybe once in the hour, yes hour, we were there.  And on top of that a huge hairy fly flew into my drink.  I say hairy because the thing was so big it could have been classified as a mammal.

Meeting and eating with Dallas was definitely the highlight.  An “A” class guy with lots of great stories about hockey and lacrosse to keep us entertained the entire time.  Thanks Dallas!

2 out of 5 Well… what can I say here… we waited 15 minutes for anyone to notice that we were there. Then I ordered my usual cheeseburger with fries. Then we waited, and waited, and waited. Did I mention we waited? I thought this place was supposed to be one of those in-and-out kind of joints that turned over tables faster than the fly buzzing around Jason’s drink?

My hockey puck arrived 45 minutes after we arrived and it didn’t disappoint. I did have fun talking lacrosse with hall-of-famer Dallas Eliuk, so the waiting wasn’t terrible. Tasted just like a hockey puck, so I’ve heard from talking to Dallas! I’m going to be generous here and give it 2 tomatoes out of 5. The only reason that it got 2 tomatoes is the price. Hard to beat $4! But then that old adage rings true…  you get what you pay for.

2 out of 5.

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